7 Tips for Marriage

It’s Marriage Week, and I’m here with a little reminder if you're hitched that you probably don’t hear enough:

 

You don’t need grand romantic gestures to have a rock solid marriage.

You need tiny, consistent moments that keep you feeling like a team.

 

 

 

No kids. No bills. No to-do list.

Instead, take just 10 minutes to connect, talk and share one thing you appreciated today.

 

 

Instead of getting defensive or accusatory (even when we are pretty sure they deserve it)

Try saying something like: “I’m feeling ___ and I need ___”

Listen, it doesn't mean it will instantly work, but being intentional with high emotions helps. Raised hackles and reckless words are usually an instant downwards spiral.

 

 

Pick one thing you’ll tackle together: meals, bedtime routines, clutter, budget, whatever. Then share the win and celebrate, big or small.  

 

4) Stop trying to mind-read  

 

Instead ask the magic question:

“Do you want comfort, solutions, or space?”

This one sentence can save a whole argument.

 

 

A 20-second hug.  

A hand on the back.  

Holding hands in the car.

 

Nonsexual touch builds safety… and safety builds desire.

 

 

Healthy couples aren’t fight-free. They’re repair-ready.

Think of the saying "never go to bed angry" well, it was pretty solid advice, and the basis being don't hang onto the anger or give it time to build, grow or take hold.  

 

 

“Can we redo that?”

“I’m on your side.”

“I got sharp, and I'm sorry. May we restart?”

 

 

Like two questions over coffee:

 

“What felt good between us this week?”

“What would help next week feel easier?”

 

End with one tiny action you’ll both do... and then follow through. Also, I'm going to use this tip to remind you that if you follow through, and a partner doesn't, to remind yourself that you can't control the actions of another human. What you can do is keep showing up in a way that helps you grow, makes you more positive and moves you forward. There's also something to be said for setting an example (longer term). All you have to do is look at small habits in your relationship that suddenly became the norm to know there's power in consistent small actions.  

 

8) Drop the scorekeeping.  

 

Trade it for clarity. So stop tracking every little thing, and instead of honest about where you are at, and make clear requests when you need them. This helps avoid resentment.  

 

So instead of: “I do more.”

Try: “I’m maxed. Can you own ___ this week?”

 

 

Even 20–30 minutes count. Try a walk, dessert run, playlist and couch time, anything that’s just you two. Every time you spend intentional time together is an opportunity to build connection, and sometimes shorter means less time for something to go wrong, so if things are feeling a little rocky, short and sweet is better than forced and deep.

 

 

Focus on connection first, kissing flirting, cuddling, showering together, or a simple massage.

Then let intimacy build naturally. It's amazing how pressure free touch can lead to a desire for more.

 

And if comfort is the issue (hello, stress, dryness, exhaustion), don't forget there are tools to help. Intimacy is a huge part of keeping your marriage on stable footing, and if something is getting in the way, please don't hesitate to reach out, because I'm here to support you, without judgement, and often a few small changes can have a big impact.  

 

I hope you got a couple tips, and I would love to hear how they work for you!