Sleazy Greetings Candles

Add a unique, laugh-out-loud item to your shelves with our 100% Soy Wax Funny Candles, each hand-poured in Lancaster, Pennsylvania—right in the heart of Amish country. These 8oz, USA-made candles boast a rustic, artisanal look and a generous 40+ hour burn time, ensuring lasting enjoyment. Each candle is labeled with cheeky, hilarious text that customers can’t resist, making them perfect gifts for friends, family, and anyone with a sense of humor. Made with 100% soy wax, these candles burn cleanly and naturally, appealing to eco-conscious buyers looking for high-quality, USA-made products.

The candles do not expire, but for best use burn within 1-2 years. The manufacturer and the ingredients used within the candles do not expire, but scent strength will be minimally weakened after 1-2 years with open lids exposed to air. There is no concern of candles obtaining a foul, stale smell as the ingredients are largely synthetic with clean, non-toxic ingredients.

These candles are not for internal or external use. Do not use them for massaging or as drip candles. The wax will be too hot and too stiff. They are strictly a decor or novelty item. 

Smells Like Your Stuck with Me: Scent: Smells like a serene ocean breeze kissed by soft florals, sea salt, and amber. Fresh, elegant, and calming—perfect for year-round relaxation.

We just had sex in here: Scent: Smells like a summer rain kissed orange blossoms and orchids, with a breeze through fresh-cut grass. Clean, fresh, and sweet—like nature’s perfume!

Only Hoes can smell this candle: Scent: Smells like a salty ocean breeze with hints of cardamom, orange, and soft musk. Fresh, mineral-rich, and a touch mysterious—your beach escape in a jar.

Light me when you want a bj: Scent: Smells like a forest breeze—green, sharp eucalyptus with a hint of mint and honey. Fresh, airy, and herbal with that classic tea tree kick.

Cocaine & Hookers: Scent: Smells like a forest breeze—green, sharp eucalyptus with a hint of mint and honey. Fresh, airy, and herbal with that classic tea tree kick.

Calm your tits: Scent: Smells like a summer rain kissed orange blossoms and orchids, with a breeze through fresh-cut grass. Clean, fresh, and sweet—like nature’s perfume!

Calm the fuck down: Scent: Smells like a summer rain kissed orange blossoms and orchids, with a breeze through fresh-cut grass. Clean, fresh, and sweet—like nature’s perfume!